a little not too much

I just finished reading my sister's blog while studying for chemistry test tmr.

I'm deeply touched, and not in that kind of touched-way... but there's a huge pity, love, and everything, and I wanna shower her with much love right now :( she's grown up so much to the date.

This is an open letter, dear sis. Let's go through the hard days baby, I'm with you. Always, watching your back. Tell me if I can do any favor just to redeem and lighten your burden... especially if I was the cause.

I won't type much, there're just too many emotions bursting out in my head right now. I'm deeply sorry for such a mishandled and tiring life you're experiencing.
But you know, you could just ease your pain a little by showing and channeling your pain and more hard expressions to the world, instead of JUST sarcasm or silence... and struggling is not that bad. People do struggle. People strive for what they desire and I expect so from you.


I love you sister, without you I'm (almost) nothing. :) let's do this and STRUGGLE together.

17th BIRTHDAY

Celebrated my 17th birthday finally yesterday, YEAY ME! Haha. Not much though, had a dinner with friends at Siam Reap, Indochine, fX and feasting with big family today at grandpa's crib.

You may find it weird, but I got really given-on-purpose presents this birthday, and a router goes as the weirdest example of what I got. Another one is a laser pointer which I'd been planning to buy. Thank God my uncle saved me the time & money to buy the stuff.

Also got a mini UGLY DOLL <3 from Stacey and Aileen. The turquoise one, it's freakingly cute (I know, its weird), but thank you. Thank you everybody for making my birthday beautiful. And especially for TB aka Felicia who gave me a little surprise yesterday morning by giving me an apple-cake, ahaha.

So, I still have my life to run, got to sleep. Anyway now my house is fully wifi-nized thanks to the router-present from my granpop! Feels great carrying my laptop around the house without bothered with modem cables etc. Nyaanyanya

Oh and anyway if anybody with enough budget is interested in buying me a present, a pair of nude/camel-colored shoes would be great (puppy eyes)

There go Zara's, but on last Wed I saw a lot of pairs of nude pumps in Aldo too.

wishlist for october

It's been a long time since my last posting, let's say it's been some busy days indeed where I just can sleep at home after a long day full of activities...

Next week is my birthday and due to so many things I have to taken care of, I havent really paid attention on it--REALLY--and it scares me right now.

Currently browsing for things this morning just to update myself for my latest wishlist... I got a new MacBook Pro 15" 2-3 weeks ago by the way! Love it so muuuuuch, thanks to my grandfather. I havent got a proper laptop bag so far, bought a lime-green Capdase for its skin, but I guess I need a proper laptop bag to my dismay. Granpop also bought me a Samsonite laptop bag, but as much as I hate to admit due to its price tag, the bag looks bulky, to my dismay.

Nyanyanya so if you pass upon a proper leather womanly laptop bag, please inform me!

Michael Kors £200

OMG I DEFNTLY WANNA GO TO URBAN OUTFITTERSSS!

Cheap Monday Threadbare Tight Jean $85

Cambridge Satchel Company Briefcase Bag $158

Disco Statement Precious Ring $34

The Shadow Puppet: Srikandi Tees IDR 85000

gonna buy this one sooooooon!

TOP OF MY WISHLIST: (sadly the price is almost the same as my new laptop, so it's almost a good-bye proenza)

Proenza Schouler PS1 Satchel (the python one is EVEN MORE SUPERB but the tag is also wonderful -_-) $1595

Oh October please be nice to me.

Stardust - Nat king cole

And now the purple dusk of twilight time
Steals across the meadows of my heart
High up in the sky the little stars climb
Always reminding me that we're apart

You wander down the lane and far away
Leaving me a song that will not die Love is now the stardust of yesterday
The music of the years gone by

Sometimes I wonder why I spend
The lonely night dreaming of a song
The melody haunts my reverie
And I am once again with you
When our love was new
And each kiss an inspiration
But that was long ago
Now my consolation
Is in the stardust of a song

Beside a garden wall
When stars are bright
You are in my arms
The nightingale tells his fairy tale
of paradise where roses grew
Though I dream in vain
In my heart it will remain
My stardust melody
The memory of love's refrain

it is a very, very old song by Nat King Cole. I love the melody and the lyrics especially. <3

should I delete my tumblr?

letting go

I found this in the morning mass booklet, it is inspiring.

Melepaskan

Dalam hidup ini, hendaknya disadari bahwa...

• Yang indah hanya sementara
• Yang abadi adalah kenangan
• Yang ikhlas hanya dari hati
• Yang tulus hanya dari sanubari
• Tidak mudah mencari yang hilang
• Tidak mudah mengejar impian
• Namun yang lebih susah adalah mempertahankan yang ada, karena walaupun tergenggam bisa terlepas juga
• Ingatlah pada pepatah: "Jika Anda tidak memiliki apa yang Anda sukai, maka sukailah apa yang Anda miliki saat ini."
• Belajarlah menerima apa adanya dan berpikirlah positif...
• Hidup bagaikan mimpi, seindah apa pun, begitu bngun semuanya sirna tak berbekas
• Rumah mewah bagai istana, harta benda yang tak terhitung, kedudukan, dan jabatan yang luar biasa, namun... Ketika nafas terakhir tiba, sebatang jarum pun tak bisa dibawa pergi. Sehelai benang pun tak bisa dimiliki. Apalagi yang mau diperebutkan. Apalagi yang mau disombongkan
• Maka jalanilah hidup ini dengan keinsafan nurani
• Jangan terlalu perhitungan
• Jangan hanya mau menang sendiri
• Jangan suka sakiti sesama apalagi terhadap mereka yang berjasa bagi kita
• Belajarlah bahwa tiada hari tanpa kasih
• Selalu berlapang dada dan mengalah
• Hidup ceria, bebas leluasa...
• Tak ada yang tak bisa diikhlaskan...
• Tak ada sakit hati yang tak bisa dimaafkan...
• Tak ada dendam yang tak bisa terhapus...

IT'S GRRRRREAT, right? it also gives us some good perspectives.. from the other side of the glass.

wishlist for july

not hoping big! :P

"vegard blue people" nudie tshirt, USD 75

"love power tote" juicy couture tote, USD 88

or

"fun" havaianas flipflops, USD 22

"blue/white spray on this is england" ksubi jeans, USD 87

"blake" wondershoe flats, IDR 199000

nyanyanyanyanyaaa!! *luv*

another day missing you

i know we meet everyday. but attitudes don't last the same through days, attitudes swing through moods, nice behavior may not last. sometimes i really miss the cheesy and cheerful you.
yes, it's only SOMETIMES, but it's including right now. i miss you being cheesy yet lovely to me. i miss you being the gentleman for your lady.

i miss you in that light. sometimes.