sucker for romance

I didn't notice that I had people reading this blog up until these past few days. Fortunately some people took the great length to read my writings, yeay? (insert "Phew" emoticon here).

Truth be told, this blog is so full of Is that I kinda start thinking of how much selfishness I've poured out this past few years. That, or the fact that it is so normal to have so many Is in your own journal slash written thoughts. Yeah. To point out my justification (for my own good), apparently some little piece of selfishness is needed here and there on your own space, especially when this world is already full of selfishness on its own. It becomes legit that your thoughts and fantasies are your biggest power.

Anyway,
this post is titled that just because I feel like it, as usual, ditto. I'm a sucker for romance, that I would admit. Even since the beginning of time, my thoughts everywhere are merely about these intense romances.

What's the matter now?
The matter is, ever since the beginning of time, I have been a (not so hopeless) romantic. I have often become so consumed in doing things sweetly that I'd rather not go the extra mile of effort than do it not overly sweet. And like all normal human beings are, we are so often selfish and self-centered, thus we often crave something more in the on-goings of life. And like all the on-goings are, so are my efforts in doing these extra miles. I become self-consumed in the hope of giving and--sometimes--receiving back. This is when and where it all often goes wrong. Pardon my lunatic use of "all" but "often", but I am not always expecting a feedback. But when I do, it drives the fantasy of this sucker for romance crazy for that moment of speaking (therefore, this is, again, exaggerating, really, I can and will always move on later).

So...
If you know you can learn from this sucker, guess you'd better do, quickly.
If you happen to know another sucker for romance like this human being whose writing you are reading, you'd better give them a favor by giving back that extra mile they took for you.
...and try, always try seeing things from the eye of this romantic lunatic, because the world then can appear much sweeter, really! Just imagine if everybody is honest with everybody, everybody helps everybody, and everybody being sweet with their loved ones :)


such a heavy thought to pour in the midst of the night.

dumber than dumb

As if I weren't as dumb as donkeys, I stood tall admitting that I wouldn't have had fallen to the same hole
The same hole that cripples me

But here it comes,  here it goes, the big hole
...and I'm falling to the same mistake, dangling in the air, to the same bottom all over again

Disattachment is best.