boring high school student rant

FINALLY I'M OFFICIALLY A TWELFTH GRADER - AND NOT SO HAPPY ABOUT IT!

yo you know, i have to decide about what major i'm into, which university should i attend to, and the indonesian final exam so called UN, etc etc. i think i'm going bald.

meanwhile, it's holiday right now. i have to decide all of that in this freakingly short one month in the midst of having my own holiday time.

i've narrowed down my options to BUSINESS SCHOOL with concentration on finance & marketing... but can you tell me what's the best business school in indonesia? do they have that majors?

SO, i have another burden, well, if i'm staying in indo (which is quite the possible option), i'm gonna have to take a more well-round major, like, engineering, or, medical(?) to have a (slightly) better future

i dislike rantings like this on my blog, well, this means i can't find the solution for the time being, and time flies really. i could just imagine it was yesterday that i was doing that registration entry test to smak 1, my shs, and now i'm already a 12th-grader.... UHMAZING.
and its not that i passed the previous school year without any hard work. there were only little ups and lots of downs.

one thing to show gratitude at is, other than these stuffs, life's been good, if not great. God's fair, i believe in Him, ha ha. my grades were okay. parents've been good, and my holiday has also been great. lovelife? uuum, lovely :).
ok think that's enough update for now :D

a collage of quote for my babyboo

iloveyou :* (click it!)
i am sorry kalo gak rapih :(

silence is a girl's loudest cry

teach me how to make things better
teach me how to make things run as how it's meant to be, me and you
teach me how to stand every changes
teach me to understand God's plan
tell me why can't things run as how it was
there are chances, there is time


why not keeping yourself in love?

@_@

kadang kamu tau kamu harusnya be thankful Tuhan kabulin semua wishes kamu
kamu sudah berdoa jungkirbalik nangisnangis buat itu semua
tapi ternyata setelah semuanya jadi nyata, itu semua enggak cukup, Tuhan ciptakan kamu dengan kapabilitas yang lain
ternyata apa yang kamu dapet sudah bukan yang kamu mau seperti sedia kala, yang kamu mau datang dengan bungkus yg berbeda
apa kamu tahu rasanya?
tetap bersyukur tapi bingung bagaimana cara menerimanya yang paling baik

sebab packagingnya hambar
sebab hanya sebagian yang manis

berapa lama butuh berorientasi sampai bisa bersyukur sepenuhnya atas yang Tuhan berikan pun enggak tahu

apalagi kalau wish kamu itu seorang makhluk, yg punya perasaan sendiri, punya pengalaman sendiri, punya kapabilitas sendiri

di sini semuanya jadi barisbaris panjang, aku menulis bukan pendekpendek lagi

sebab semuanya jadi panjang dan berlikuliku, jalannya jadi tidakmulus, tidak semulus berdoa pada Tuhan dan semulus Tuhan berencana ngabulin doadoa saya

ok stop disini aku mau mulai baru lagi...

gimana rasanya menerima perubahan ke objek pelampiasan sayang?

perubahan itu ada, kamu selalu pengen bikin perubahan, tapi waktu perubahan itu datang, kamu pasti gak akan siap. kamu hanya bisa mencoba kan?
gimana kalau kapabilitas kamu gak segitu, kamu sangat gak suka perubahan hidup kamu, perubahan sekeliling kamu
aku pakai pendekatan dari general ke inti deh
gimana kalau perubahan ini datang dari orang yang kamu sayang, orang yang sayang sama kamu, yang berubah sedikit demi sedikit tapi sekarang sudah banyak
gimana kalau kamu biasanya disayangsayang sekarang rasanya seperti teman tapi sayang
gimana kalau kamu mengingat kamu biasanya bersama dia setiap malam langsung mendengar suaranya sekarang kamu hanya bisa membayangkan rupanya lewat tulisantulisannya
kamu tak tahu emosinya
gimana kalau kamu dulunya diingatkan kamu kesayangan tapi sekarang kamu nomer kesekian
gimana kalau dulu janjijanji yang kalian buat itu nyata tapi sekarang hanya diawangawang, hanya periodikal, hanya sebatas sesaat yang indah
gimana kalau kamu biasanya dimanja dan dicari kemanamana tapi sekarang kesayangan kamu kurang suka kamu mencari dirinya saat kesepian karena dia punya prioritas nomer 1, 2, dan sekian
gimana kalau kamu sayang tapi kamu hanya nggak kuat nerima perubahan itu semua (semoga saat ini saja) dan enggak tau gimana cara bertahan
gimana kalau kamu pengen sekali santai tapi kamu kangen sekali dan walaupun sibuk sekali tetap ingat sama dia, yg juga kamu nggak ngerti kenapa bisa jadi demikian
gimana kalau dulu tulisantulisan dia selalu ingat sama kamu dan sekarang hanya orangorang lain, kamu cuman disimpan di hati (masih bagus di hati), kamu memang nggak ada disitu lagi sekarang
dan gimana kalau dari dulu sampai sekarang kamu selalu kekurangan pengakuan, walaupun aku enggak mementingkan pengakuan, tapi perempuan mana yang enggak mau diakui sama kesayangannya

kamu punya pertanyaan yang sama dengan aku?
bantu aku jawab dan selesaikan ya

r.u.a.n.d.o.m

im so goddamnit busy when meanwhile i want to post something since last friday! can't you imagine that! i was going to pour my mind out but my days haven't allowed me so far, till the point in which i forgot my lament, and unsure of what to write here... like, right now.

okay, this is just too random and empty
got to go i have a geometry test for tomorrow-wish me luck


:x i hate my routine and everything bad that comes attached to it

heroine loves hero

wishing that one day, my lover will tell me that...i'm his greatest lover! :) afterall, the zodiacfacts had said it. HAHA. and anyway, its great to know you're someone's greatest lover since... i know how great it feels! i had back then called a guy as my best boyfriend, and he's definitely given me the best feeling in the world: to be fully and completely loved!
okay, stop the public-sharing

Anyway, my life's been good! (yeah, for real! like, finally, duh. i can stop whining on my blog. but school stuffs' still pressuring on my head) and truth is, i'm gonna thank everyone who had been with me through the rough days i'd been having last month, indeed.

Like the first i wanna thank my family =) my dad's like my only precious best friend!! he gave one of the best comfort i've ever shared with A FRIEND. he'd waken up in nights when i was really down and hugging me till the next morning...haha. it was really useful since i hardly cud fall asleep back then. he's also the best comforter and hope-giver AND the one who gave me the most discouragement NOT to move on in the best way (and i thought that's good, because if people do it in an obvious way, i wudnt even have given it a second thought). thanks pak :D. love you. also i thank my mom for scolding me for crying on things that's not worth crying for (because they didn't even give a damn back then...well), and of course, my sister! who'd been patiently there to wake up on nights when i wasn't even sober enough to think clearly.

Now, my best best friends :) believe me or not, i have some bunches of the best people you could ask for in life. i can't put anyone on the second place, so there go everyone who's been there all day on my first day of being brokenhearted! ha! thank you maura for being so patient through my ups and downs, novita for insisting me to accept all the heart-breaking reality (and even scolding me for that fact, HA!), cla for the SEMANGGAT! yeah you go baby, i was very much alive because of you. i thanked aileen for the best old sayings 'kalo jodoh gak kemana' and for the patience and the time u've spent accompanying me, thanksss ijie for the insider info ;) and the "conspiracy", and life-experiences u've shared.

for the following days after, i thank everyone who's been there for me like, EVERYDAY. you can't guess maybe how would my rantings affect their ears and days, but believe me, they're really understanding. here goes my gratitude for stephanie e., nike, and emily! there goes one word for you: muach. and another 3 words: i love you!!. thank you jessica w. for the prince charming-compliment, hopefully, one day, i would end up with my own prince charming yes =]. thank you randi for covering my sadness between lessons and cheering me up with some most-amusing-jokes in life :p. yeah, we both freaks, bwek! thanks sasa for sharing the guys-trouble, you gave me an example of great patience in enduring things, HA! thank you to cynthia for the laughter to ease the loneliness and "every little thing, is gonna be alright", bob marley rocks yaa, :D. thank you jordy, gilbert, and adrianus a., for the boyish advices, for the great time and being such great companions and listeners, also for the time and wise responds :)

okay, save the best for the last! no, maybe it's unfair to say the best, but then, they (though so did everyone else) had (and have perhaps, though no loneliness' included now) the real supporters when everything was empty and i got so lonely: thank you mr alden martin pasaribu and ms stella theresa winarto! haha big hugss for you both. can't you imagine a cooler friend than one that's there when you call for a shoulder to cry on, and has to take care of his own ride to home afterwards (HA-HA), or perhaps for a pair of ears to be an attentive listener? :)

welllll.. thank you so much for all the favors, hopefully i also can be a best friend to you all. i love you all like soooooooo much :3 hehe

HEHEHEHEHE

if i tell you i love you, can i keep you forever?